a taste for numbers and their curious combinations and results. The collection as a whole will afford innocent recreation for the fireside and social circle, and thus contribute to the happiness of those who enjoy the higher forms of pleasure that flow from the exercise of the mind upon those subjects that require quickness of thought and a nimble wit. THE AUTHOR. CONTENTS PAGE GENERAL CONUNDRUMS, 9 BIBLICAL CONUNDRUMS, 117 POETICAL CONUNDRUMS, 125 FRENCH CONUNDRUMS, 133 ARITHMETICAL PUZZLES, 137 GENERAL CONUNDRUMS Why is life the greatest of all conundrums? Because we must all give it up. When may an army be said to be totally destroyed? When its soldiers are all in quarters. Which is swifter, heat or cold? Heat, because you can catch cold. Why is a young lady like a letter? Because if she isn’t well stamped the mails (males) won’t take her. Why are dudes no longer imported into this country from England? Because a Yankee dude ’ll do (Yankee doodle doo). What flowers can be found between the nose and chin? Tulips (two lips). Why is a dude’s hat like swearing? Because it is something to avoid. How many wives is a man lawfully entitled to by the English prayer-book? Sixteen: Four richer, four poorer, four better, four worse. Why is a bright young lady like a spoon in a cup of tea? Because she is interesting (in tea resting). Why does a young man think his sweetheart is like a door-knob? Because she is something to adore (a door). Why is the emblem of the United States more enduring than that of France, England, Ireland, or Scotland? The _Lily_ may fade and its leaves decay, The _Rose_ from its stem may sever, The _Shamrock_ and _Thistle_ may pass away, But the _Stars_ will shine forever. Why is a kiss like a sermon? Because it needs two heads and an application. What is the shape of a kiss? Elliptical. Why is a kiss like gossip? Because it goes from mouth to mouth. When two people kiss, what kind of a riddle does it make? A rebus. What is it George Washington seldom saw, God never saw, and we see every day? Our equals. What is better than God, worse than the devil, the dead live on, and the living would die if they lived on? Nothing. Prove by logic that an oyster is better than heaven. Nothing is better than heaven; an oyster is better than nothing; therefore an oyster is better than heaven. What is the difference between a honeymoon and a honeycomb? One is a big sell, the other little cells. Why is a man who makes pens a wicked man? Because he makes men steel (steal) pens and then says they do write (right). What is the difference between a lady and an apple? One you have to get side her to squeeze, and the other you have to squeeze to get cider. Who is the greatest chicken-killer spoken of in Shakespeare? Macbeth, because he did murder most foul. Why is music cheaper on Sunday than during the week? Because during the week you get it by the piece, and on Sunday you get it by the choir. Which death would you prefer to die, Joan of Arc’s or Mary Stuart’s? Most people prefer Joan of Arc’s, because they like a hot steak better than a cold chop. What great writer’s name might you appropriately mention if you were standing by the grave of Bob Ingersoll? Robert Burns. What three great writers names might you think of if you were watching a house...